# How to find conversations about your problem without spamming people

# How to find conversations about your problem without spamming people

Founders who build quickly often hit the same wall: the product exists, but nobody knows about it. Conversations where people already describe the problem are one of the more direct places to be found. They are also easy to get wrong. This guide covers how to find those conversations, when to reply, when to reach out privately, and what never to do.

This post is part of a cluster on getting found. [Link to the pillar post: to be added once the pillar is approved.] It follows the Live conversations play described on the [Hockeysticky playbooks page](https://hockeysticky.com/playbooks), which frames it as showing up, helpfully, where people are already discussing the problem you solve.

## What counts as a live conversation

The Hockeysticky site describes live conversations as competitor conversations, industry topics and problem spaces ([source: hockeysticky.com](https://hockeysticky.com/)). Those three categories are a useful way to organise your search:

| Type | What it looks like | What it tells you |
|---|---|---|
| Problem space | Someone describes a frustration your product addresses, without naming any tool | Awareness of the problem, no solution chosen yet |
| Industry topic | A discussion about a trend, method or workflow in your field | Where your audience gathers and what they care about |
| Competitor conversation | People discussing, comparing or complaining about an alternative | Active evaluation, and what they expect from a solution |

## Step 1: Write down the problem in your audience's words

Start with the problem, not your product name. Write 5 to 10 ways a person might describe the frustration before they know your product exists. Include the symptoms they would mention, the workarounds they would try, and the tools they would complain about.

This list drives everything else. If it only contains your product category's jargon, you will miss most of the people who matter.

## Step 2: Find where those conversations happen

The Live conversations play lists social and conversation tools, an AI workspace and analytics as its tools ([source: hockeysticky.com/playbooks](https://hockeysticky.com/playbooks)). In practice, a founder can start with a short, manual routine:

1. Pick two or three places where your audience already talks, such as forums, communities, social platforms or Q&A sites. Choose places you can read the rules for.
2. Search your phrase list from Step 1 in each place.
3. Save the threads where someone asks a real question or describes a real frustration.
4. Note how recent the thread is, who is taking part and whether the venue allows links and self-reference.

A saved-search or alert tool can reduce the manual work later. Start by hand so you learn what a good conversation looks like before automating it.

## Step 3: Decide whether to reply, reach out privately, or skip

Not every match deserves a response. Use the flow below.

```mermaid
flowchart TD
  A[Conversation found] --> B{Is it recent and is the question still open?}
  B -->|No| S[Skip]
  B -->|Yes| C{Can you add something useful without mentioning your product?}
  C -->|No| S
  C -->|Yes| D[Reply publicly with the useful part first]
  D --> E{Did the person ask for a tool or a way to contact you?}
  E -->|Yes| F[Mention your product once, say you built it, link only if allowed]
  E -->|No| G[Leave it as a helpful reply]
  A --> H{Did the person share a specific frustration and does the venue allow direct messages?}
  H -->|Yes| I[Consider a short private note, relevant to what they wrote]
  H -->|No| S
```

### When to reply publicly

Reply in the open when you can answer the question well. A public answer helps the original poster and everyone who reads the thread later. Lead with the answer, keep it specific to what was asked, and only mention your product if it is directly relevant and the venue's rules allow it. If you built the product, say so plainly.

### When to reach out privately

Private outreach fits when someone has shared a specific frustration your product can solve and contact is acceptable in that venue. The Hockeysticky site describes this as reaching out when someone shares a frustration you can solve ([source: hockeysticky.com](https://hockeysticky.com/)). Keep the message short, refer to what the person actually wrote, say why you are writing, and make it easy to say no. Send one message, not a sequence.

### When to skip

Skip if the thread is old, the question is already well answered, you have nothing to add, or the community bans promotion. Skipping is a valid outcome and protects your reputation.

## What never to do

- Do not post the same reply across many threads. People and moderators notice.
- Do not pose as a neutral user or a customer when you are the founder.
- Do not reply only to drop a link.
- Do not send private messages to people who did not describe a related problem.
- Do not ignore community rules or moderator requests. Read the rules before the first reply.
- Do not argue with critics of a competitor or disparage competitors. Describe what you know, accurately.
- Do not scrape or message in bulk in ways a platform's terms forbid. Check each platform's terms of service.

## Checklist before you post

- [ ] I read the community's rules.
- [ ] The thread is recent and the question is open.
- [ ] My reply is useful without the product mention.
- [ ] I disclosed my relationship to the product, if I mention it.
- [ ] This is not a copy of another reply.
- [ ] I would be comfortable if the poster or a moderator read my history.

## How long until you see a signal

The Live conversations play lists a first signal of 1 to 3 weeks with no budget ([source: hockeysticky.com/playbooks](https://hockeysticky.com/playbooks)). Treat this as an editorial estimate, not a measured result. The playbooks page says its potential ratings are a general editorial view for a solo founder or small team, not measured outcomes. Your timing depends on the venue, how often relevant threads appear and how consistently you show up.

The play's key metric is sign-ups from conversations joined. To measure it, give each venue a trackable path, such as a distinct link where the rules allow one, and note which conversations led to a visit or sign-up. [metric: your own baseline for sign-ups from conversations, once you have data]

## Where this fits

Live conversations is one of several awareness plays on the [Hockeysticky playbooks page](https://hockeysticky.com/playbooks). It works alongside content you own, because a helpful reply often points to a post or doc that answers the question in full. Hockeysticky lists running live conversations within your guardrails as part of its awareness execution. If you want that handled for you, the product is currently waitlist-based ([source: hockeysticky.com](https://hockeysticky.com/)).

## Summary

1. Write the problem in your audience's words.
2. Find two or three places where they already talk, and read the rules.
3. Reply publicly when you can help. Reach out privately only when someone described a fitting frustration and contact is welcome.
4. Skip when you have nothing to add.
5. Track sign-ups from the conversations you joined, and treat 1 to 3 weeks to a first signal as an estimate, not a promise.